Table Of Contents - Goulding System™

Goulding System Book

Table of Contents

Other Books by Joane Goulding.	i
Copyright and Publication Information	ii
Child Protection and Mandatory Reporting	iii
Dedication	iv
A Message From Joane Goulding	v
A Note On This Edition	vi
About the Co-Author: David Dixon	vii
Postscript — from Joane Goulding	vii
How To Use This Book	ix
The Foundation Routine: Where to Begin	ix
If You Want To Begin Tonight	ix
If You Prefer To Read From The Beginning	ix
Using the Icons in This Book	x
The Foundation Routine Easy Reference Sheets	x
Using the Glossary	x
Introduction — Before You Begin	xi
Table of Contents	xii
Chapter 1 — The Foundation Of Unconditional Love	1
Introduction – Love Without Condition	1
A Moment of Reflection	1
When Love Gets Lost	2
The Language of Love	2
Happiness as a State of Mind	2
The Hidden Power of Words	3
True Now, True Over Time	3
The Goulding System is Not Persuasion	4
Why Nothing Else Comes First	4
The Brain’s Editing Room – Rewriting the Files	5
A Perfect Parent	5
Michelle’s Story	6
Summary	6
xii
Chapter 2 — The Story Of Michelle	7
Introduction — When Struggle Becomes Change	7
A Mother’s Dream	7
When Love Meets Challenge	7
The Diagnosis	7
The Search Continues	8
The Despair of Helplessness	8
The Turning Point	8
A Dawning Realisation	9
Discovering a New Way	9
The Law of Belief	10
Two Mentors: Jim Goulding and Émile Coué	10
The First Miracle	10
Our Beacon of Hope	10
The Phone Call	11
From Selective Mutism to Chatterbox	11
From Family to Foundation	12
Author’s Reflection – Looking Back from 2026	12
Summary – The Story of Michelle and the Birth of the Goulding System	12
Chapter 3 — The Miracle Mind: Why It Works	13
Introduction — Why the Mind Responds	13
A Note on Language and Research	13
What is The Goulding System?	13
How Children Learn From Emotional Consistency	14
Why the Night-Time Moment Matters	14
Emotional Habits and Inner Stories	14
Messages of Fear, Messages of Love	15
The Power of Gentle Repetition	15
How the System Shapes Behaviour Over Time	15
Everyday Miracles	15
Summary – Love and Happiness	16
Chapter 4 — Understanding The Subconscious	17
Introduction — The Mind Beneath Awareness	17
What the Subconscious Really Is	17
Always On, Always Listening	18
How Messages Become Beliefs	18
When the Filters Switch Off (The Alpha–Theta Window)	18
Timing the Goulding System	19
It Isn’t Magic — It’s Neuropsychology	19
Joane’s Discovery with Michelle	19
Replacing Fear with Love	19
xiii
Summary – The Mind Never Sleeps	20
Chapter 5 — The Brain As A Computer Model	21
Introduction – Your Brain Is Not a Computer… But Let’s Pretend It Is	21
Mapping the Mind to a Machine	21
Why a New Model Supports Today’s Parents	22
The Conscious Mind – The Part You Notice	22
The Subconscious Mind – The System in the Background	22
Beliefs as Programs	23
Negative ‘Malware’ and Positive ‘Updates’	23
The Goulding System as an Emotional Resilience Enhancement	23
Sleep and the Brain’s Nightly ‘Data Backup’	24
In the Next Chapter	24
Summary – Updating the System – With Love	24
Chapter 6 — The Top Hat Technique	25
Introduction – From Joane	25
Why The Top Hat Technique Helps	25
The Conscious Mind – The Hat On	26
The Subconscious – The Mind Beneath	26
The Reticular Activating System – The Antenna	26
Lifting The Hat During Light Sleep	27
The Three Steps Of The Top Hat Technique	27
Step 1 — Lift The Hat (The Opening Process)	27
Step 2 — Deliver The Foundation Affirmations	28
Step 3 — Return The Hat (The Closing Sequence)	28
Consolidation Through Repetition	29
How The Model Connects To The Goulding System	29
Summary – The Simplicity And Science Behind The Model	29
Top Hat Technique Diagram Key	30
Chapter 7 — The Foundation Routine – What To Do	31
Introduction — Entering the Calm	31
The Purpose Of The Foundation Routine	31
When To Begin Each Night	31
Preparing The Room And The House	32
How To Enter The Room	32
Step 1 — The Opening Process (Lifting The Top Hat)	33
The Opening Process – 1	33
The Opening Process – 2	33
The Opening Process – 3	33
Recognising The Right Level Of Responsiveness	34
What If The Timing Doesn’t Work For You	34
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Why Adjust the Covers?	35
If Your Child Awakens Slightly	35
If Your Child Wakes Fully During the Opening Process	35
If Your Child Is Anxious When You Enter The Room	36
Using A Phone During The Routine	36
When One Partner Can’t Be There	36
How Long To Continue The Routine	36
Coming Up Next: The Foundation Statement — What You Say	37
Summary — The Quiet Preparation	37
Chapter 8 — The Foundation Statement – What To Say	39
Introduction — The Heart of the Method	39
Speaking the Heart	39
Foundation: The Routine, the Statement, and the Affirmations	40
Who Uses The Foundation Statement?	40
Applying the Top Hat Technique	41
Step 1 — The Opening Process (Lifting the Top Hat) A Recap	41
Step 2 — The Foundation Affirmations	41
Step 3 — The Closing Sequence (Returning the Top Hat)	42
How the Foundation Statement Works	43
Two Quietly Powerful Words — “We” and “It”	43
What to Do If Your Child Wakes During the Affirmations	44
What to Do If There Is Agitation or Confusion	45
Notes on Variations and Family Differences	46
Use the Names Your Child Uses for You	46
When the Sibling Affirmation Does Not Apply	46
Why We Avoid Using Sibling Names	46
The ABC of the Goulding System	47
Summary — Love, Spoken Nightly	47
The Simplicity of the Full Foundation Statement	48
Chapter 9 — Holding Children Steady In Unsteady Times	49
Introduction — Returning to the Centre	49
The Child’s Emotional Reality	49
When Family Life Feels Unsteady	50
Belief Matters More Than Circumstance	50
Why the System Focuses on the Child	51
When a Parent Is Absent	51
Children Don’t Fact-Check Love	52
When Children Feel Loved, Everything Softens	53
Preparing for Sibling Dynamics	53
A Shared Language for the Chapters That Follow	54
Harmony and Disharmony	54
xv
Rivalry	55
Sibling Conflict	55
Summary — Steadiness From Within	55
Chapter 10 — Siblings: Harmony, Disharmony & Rivalry	57
Introduction — Growing Up Together	57
Sibling Relationships Are Dynamic, Not Fixed	57
Harmony — What It Is (and What It Is Not)	57
Disharmony — A Normal Part of Growing Together	58
Where Rivalry Fits	59
Healthy Rivalry — When Competition Builds Strength	59
When Rivalry Feels Louder	60
Supporting Siblings Through Rivalry	60
Giving the Foundation Routine Time	60
When to Pause and Observe	61
Summary — Growing Side by Side	61
Chapter 11 — Sibling Conflict – The Support Process	62
Introduction — When Normal Friction Becomes Harm	62
Why “Sibling Conflict” Is a Separate Term	62
What Distinguishes Conflict from Rivalry	62
The Role of Time and the Foundation Routine	63
When Conflict Persists	64
Common Contributors to Ongoing Sibling Conflict	64
Why DIY Support Has Limits	65
The Role of a Certified Goulding System Parent Coach	65
The Sibling Support Statement	66
Situations Where Support Is Especially Helpful	66
Reframing Conflict With Compassion	66
When to Seek Guidance	67
Summary — From Conflict Back to Connection	67
Chapter 12 — Foundation Feedback	68
Introduction — Understanding the Signs of Change	68
Why Feedback Appears	68
Quiet Feedback	69
Loud Feedback.	69
How Parents Should Respond	70
When to Continue as Usual	70
When to Pause the Routine (A Short Reset)	71
When to Seek Support From a Certified Goulding System Parent Coach	71
Confusion Moments – What They Really Mean	72
Emotional Resilience – What Your Child Is Developing	73
xvi
More About Foundation Feedback	73
Transition to Goulding System Support	75
Summary — Steady Through the Waves	75
Chapter 13 — Goulding System Support — Building On The Foundation	76
Introduction — Understanding the Goulding System Support Pathway	76
The Three Units of the Goulding System	76
Unit 1 — The Foundation Process	76
Unit 2 — Support Statements: Consolidation and Bridging	76
Unit 3 — Identifying the Primary Area of Need (PAN)	77
Why This Structure Matters for Families	77
Building on the Foundation: A Collaborative Process	78
List of Support Process	78
Emotional & Behavioural Concerns	78
Confidence & Anxiety	78
Family & Social Relationships	78
Habits & Physical Patterns	78
Adjustment, Loss & Change	79
Summary — Moving Forward With Structure	79
Chapter 14 — Foundations Before Birth	80
Introduction – A Voice Before Birth	80
The Womb: A World of Rhythm and Familiarity	80
A Discovery Made By Accident	80
A Mother’s Testimonial	81
An Unexpected Side Effect	81
How to Begin During Pregnancy (Optional and Relaxed)	82
After Birth: Recognition and Continuity	82
A Final Reflection	82
Summary — Love Begins Early	82
Chapter 15 — Special Considerations and Professional Guidance	84
Introduction — Care With Wisdom	84
When Professional Guidance Is Essential	84
Working With Therapists And Specialists	85
Children With Neurological Or Psychological Histories	85
The Goulding System In Trauma-Informed Practice	85
Respecting Neurodiversity And Individual Pace	86
Ethical Guidelines And Parental Responsibility	86
A Note For Parents Of Children With Medical Or Psychological Histories	87
Summary: Safety, Compassion, And Respect First	87
xvii
Chapter 16 — The Goulding System Today: Legacy & Continuation	88
Introduction — How It Began	88
Joane’s Legacy — A Different Way of Seeing Children	88
The System Evolves — Carefully, Not Radically	89
A Community, Not a Single Voice	89
Families Today — A Different Landscape	89
Research and the Road Forward	90
Continuation — Beyond Any One Person	90
Final Thoughts — What Endures	91
Summary — The Quiet Continuation	91
Goulding System References	93
Appendix A: — The Science Behind The Goulding System	100
Suggestion and the Subconscious – From Coué to Modern Psychology	100
The Brain at Night: Why Sleep-Time Suggestion Works	100
Children’s High Receptivity to Suggestion	102
Developmental Windows of Receptivity – Why Early Childhood Matters	103
Cognitive Development and the Emerging Critical Mind	104
Brain Activity and Absorption States	104
Attachment and the Formation of Inner Templates	104
How Beliefs Take Root	105
Neuroplasticity: A Brain That Can Change	105
Historical Influence: Coué and Suggestion	106
Bringing It Together	106
Positive Parenting, Attachment, and Belief Formation	106
Rewiring the Brain – Neuroplasticity and Lasting Change	108
Summary: The Science Is Clear — But Action Makes It Real	110
References — Appendix A	111
Appendix B — Developing Research, Emerging Studies & Ongoing Investigations	113
Pilot Study at Heinrich-Heine-Universität Düsseldorf	113
Appendix C — FAQs: Frequently Asked Questions	116
1. Understanding the Goulding System	116
2. Origin Story: Michelle’s Journey	118
3. Emotional Health and Mindset	119
4. Using the System Night by Night	120
5. Feedback and Consolidation	122
6. Family Structures and Complex Situations	124
7. Siblings and Shared Bedrooms	125
8. Emotions, Behaviour and Big Feelings	127
9. Social Confidence and Group Situations	129
xviii
10. School, Learning and Academic Worries	131
11. Health, Sleep and Special Needs	133
12. Parents’ Emotions and Parental Experience	134
13. Safety, Abuse and Sensitive Ethical Issues	136
14. Advanced Topics and Parent Coach Guidance	138
Appendix D — Foundation Statement Variables	141
Parental Naming Variations	142
Step-Parents and Blended Families	142
Shared-Care and Two-Home Families	143
Guardian-Only Homes	143
Donor-Conceived Families	143
Adoptive Families	144
Foster Families	144
Sibling Counts and Phrasing Rules	144
Gender Variations (Brother/Sister)	145
Twins, Multiples & Close-Age Siblings	146
Newborn-Only Variants	146
Cultural Naming Flexibility	146
When to Seek Guidance	147
Summary — Every Family Is Unique	147
Appendix E — Further Reading and Resources	148
Appendix F — The Goulding System: Glossary Of Terms	153
Appendix G — Contact and Practitioner Directory	159
Appendix H — About The Founder: Joane Goulding	160
Appendix I — The Foundation Routine: A Quick Guide	164
Appendix J — The Foundation Routine: Technical and Scientific Notes	165
Appendix K — Émile Coué, Suggestion, And The Early Psychology Of Hope	167
Appendix L — HARP: Hybrid Access And Archival Publishing Protocol	172
1. Purpose and Rationale	172
2. Hybrid Access for Digital and Print Editions	172
3. Accessibility for Non-Specialist Readers	172
4. Legitimate and Cost-Free Access Where Available	173
5. Reference Entry Structure	173
5.1 Citation Block	173
5.2 Access Block (HARP)	173
Summary	176
External Links Disclaimer	176
xix
Appendix M — Testimonials And Case Histories: It Works!	178
Selective Mutism: A Pilot Study	178
Case History: The Story of Georgie.	179
Case History Feedback: Presented by a Professional Psychotherapist.	180
Case History Feedback: Bullying, Sibling Rivalry, Education:	181
Case History Feedback: Mental Health, Eating, School, Fear:	181
Case History Feedback: Sensory Processing, ADHD, Dysgraphia, Sleep Issues, Anxiety:	182
Case History Feedback: Changing Family Dynamics:	183
Case History Feedback: Life Changing Results.	183
For More Than 50 Years Professionals And Parents Have Been Using The Goulding System.	184
Appendix N — The Foundation Routine Reference Sheet	185
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